Why "Fighting Fair" Is a Myth (And What Mediation Offers Instead)

We often hear the phrase "fight fair" in relationships and divorces, as if conflict can be made safe by adding a few ground rules. But the truth is: when relationships reach a point of legal separation, the idea of "fair fighting" usually does more harm than good.

Fighting, even with rules, is adversarial by nature. Mediation isn’t.

At Couples Solutions Center, we don’t ask you to debate or win. We help you both speak your truth, be heard, and move forward.

Why "fighting fair" often backfires:

1. Power Imbalances Still Exist - Even with rules in place, dynamics like emotional withdrawal, gaslighting, or financial control can shape outcomes unfairly.

2. Winning Becomes the Goal - "Fair" fights can easily turn into a tug-of-war over who’s right. Mediation, instead, shifts the focus to what works for both parties.

3. It Doesn't Foster Long-Term Solutions - Temporary compromises made under stress often fall apart later. Mediation encourages sustainable, mutual agreements that hold up over time.

What Mediation Offers Instead:

• A collaborative model, not a competitive one.

• Focus on future planning, not rehashing the past.

• Tools for communication that many couples say they wish they’d had earlier.

  
  

Whether your divorce is high conflict or low conflict, the mediation approach used at Couples Solutions Center is about resolution, not just "getting through it."

At Couples Solutions Center, we specialize in helping people through all stages of divorce with respect, clarity, and confidence. Whether you’re still deciding what path to take or just need support finalizing paperwork, we’re here to help.