When does marriage become a legal trap? - "ABA Journal" Feature

Our founder, Kristyn Carmichael, was recently featured in ABA Journal on covenant marriage. Covenant marriage is an option in a few states, including Arizona. Check out the interview HERE and Kristyn's interview below:

What does covenant marriage aim to do?

Covenant marriage is a process by which couples can "lock" themselves into marriage by completing steps prior to marriage to "ensure" they will be married forever. In Arizona, for example, couples must attend premarital counseling and sign a declaration of intent that they plan to be together forever before marrying. They also must show proof of counseling with an affidavit from a therapists or clergy member. The idea to go back to traditional views of marriage and pledge yourselves to one another forever, taking the sanctity of marriage more seriously.

Why do you believe more states are opting into covenant marriage?

We tend to see covenant marriage on the rise when there are social concerns for lowered marriage rates, high divorce rates, and lower birth rates. A more traditional view of marriage tends to match with ideas towards more traditional society norms. What is not considered is the lack of desire for marriage or children, generally. Younger generations are tending to avoid both traditional constructs and opt for other relationship structures.

If covenant marriage isn't mandatory, why are there laws promoting it?

While we discuss a separation of church and state, there is no type of law where they are more intertwined than family law. Marriage is still both a religious and legal process, but often those are combined into one. Covenant marriage laws promote the sanctity of a concept - marriage - that has been incredibly beneficial to society, from financial, reproduction, and morality standpoints. So often it will be encouraged, although hardly ever mandatory.

What are the pros and cons of covenant marriage?

Pros include having discussions prior to marriage and going through tasks, such as counseling, before marriage. This allows for valuable discussion and thoughtfulness prior to marriage, rather than someone simply jumping into it. Covenant marriage promotes genuine thought and care before entering into such a commitment as marriage.

Cons for covenant marriage are similar to those of fault based divorce - it can have a substantial safety and control issue. By making someone prove why a divorce is needed, we are causing a lot of victims of domestic violence, financial abuse, etc. to be stuck in an unsafe marriage. It creates a barrier for the abused spouse, or simply the spouse without power, to leave the relationship.

Does covenant marriage allow for younger people to get married?

Not typically. State law will dictate the age at which individuals can get married, including option for guardians to provide permission at a younger age.

Who is pushing for covenant marriage (is it the church)?

Covenant marriage, like the push for fault based divorce, is typically pushed by more conservative individuals as well as religious individuals. Fundamentally, it follows a logical justification of treating marriage with sanctity and respect. It prevents people form marrying too quickly, without thought. And it promotes family units, But it also has it's harmful effects, such as interpersonal violence and control.

Where do you expect to see covenant marriage go in the near future (will more people opt-in, and why)?

Truly, I don't believe covenant marriage will expend very much, First, most people don't even know what it is or that it's an option. It's extremely rare for us to see clients that have a covenant marriage - when they are getting divorced or getting a prenup. Additionally, we have statistically seen a lowering of marriage rates and birth rates due to younger generations lack of belief in the constructs of either. So I cannot imagine they would commit to a more stringent marriage than traditional marriage.

How difficult is it to get out of a covenant marriage (if you've dealt with this in your practice, please explain)?

It will depend on the state. In Arizona, where I practice it is relatively simple. Covenant marriage, at the time of divorce, mirrors fault based divorce. You have to prove one of seven reasons for your divorce, such a infidelity, abuse, etc. The eighth option is you simply mutually agree to divorce. So ultimately, a vast majority of our clients simply mutually agree to divorce, and not further steps are needed. If someone refuses to mutually agree, the risk having their indiscretions made public, such as abuse or commission of a crime. Most people would prefer to avoid that.